Emotionally invested.

My friend, Val, hit the nail on the head when she said that I "get completely emotionally invested" in every job that I have applied for in my ten-month-long job hunting odyssey.

All of the positions that I've applied for have been ones that a) sound like a good fit for my skill set, b) sound like something I would enjoy and be successful at, and c) are at institutions for which I have a great deal of respect. I am not applying willy-nilly to any and all jobs out there; I'm choosing carefully and thoughtfully.

When I find that kind of a job description, I read and re-read it. I do a little organizational research if it's not an institution that I know well. I think about all of that, and I see if I can picture myself in the role. If I can, then I craft my cover letter, tweak my resume to best fit the job description - highlighting relevant skills - and fill out the online application. It takes time, it takes care and it takes thought.

By the time I'm done with all of that, I am, indeed, emotionally invested. Then I wait. Wait to hear nothing. Wait to hear "No, thank you, you don't have your Bachelors degree." Wait to hear that the position has already been filled. Wait to hear that I have an interview. Wait to hear that I'm "one of the top three candidates, but ..." Wait to hear that "it came down to you and one other, but ..." Wait and wonder. And try again.

When I first was laid off, I thought about going back to school and working on my degree. There wasn't much going on in the job market at that time, and it made sense to focus on finishing my education. Between that time and January, however, there seemed to be more activity in the job market, and I decided it made more sense to pursue getting a job instead of school. That was probably a mistake. I don't know how many positions I've applied for - I could check my records, but I think that would be too depressing - but I still don't have a job. And, I haven't knocked off any classes toward my degree.

I've been doing some freelance work, and I love that. It's just not enough to count on, not enough to pay the bills. I've had time to help with the Rochester Music Hall of Fame, and that is great, too. And, I've had time for me and for my family, which has been wonderful. But, eventually, I need to find a job.

I am currently emotionally invested in several positions. If I am not successful with any of them, then it will be time to make a decision. I have until September 1 to register for November classes. I think I'll continue plugging away at the job market while doing the prep work for returning to school. By September 1, I'll at least no longer be in limbo, and I will be investing in my future - one way or another.

yours in music (and job-hunting),
tracy