"Mom. No. They are so tacky. I hate them."

That's the text I received from my daughter after I sent her a picture text of the Skechers Shape-Ups I wanted to buy. True, they are rather obnoxious and are pretty much the essence of what a middle-aged woman who wants to get in shape the easiest way possible would wear.

These are the shoes that are supposed to improve posture and circulation, strengthen the back, tighten the abs, firm the butt, tone and firm the thighs, firm the calves and relieve joint stress. I asked the salesgirl if she had any personal experience with them, and she said that her mom was a waitress and swore by them. She would never return to regular sneakers. And, yes, she had lost weight.

Yes. I bought them. My apologies to Caroline and a promise to never wear them in her presence.

I picked the black suede ones; they are the least obnoxious looking. They don't "go" with anything except, maybe, my black yoga pants. Mostly because those are long enough to cover up a lot of the shoe. They are silly looking, with the (mostly white and some grey) sole one inch thick at its thinnest and a full 1 and 7/8 inches at the thickest point. The sole comes up at the toe and at the heel - so much so that when I leaned back, like you do, I almost fell over. Dangerous, these shoes.

So, first I tried walking around the house in case I didn't like them, that way I could return them. After I got used to that, Drew and I took the dogs for a long walk. I kept the shoes on while I did a few things around the house, ran some errands and did a little shopping at Wegmans.

Since my calves (and my ass) are tired, I have to say that they must have some merit. I hope so anyway. I'm going to try to use them every day on dog walks, errands, trips to the store, etc. Maybe they will make a difference.

Now, what to do about my arms?

yours in music and shoes,
Tracy